Curly black eye lashes

wewriwa_square_2 It’s time for Weekend Writing Warriors

Every Sunday, a clutch of writers post upon their blogs, 8-sentence snippets from their Writing Works in Progress.

There is much reading, commenting, sharing and getting to know one another. Also great writing. Click on the red square with the white feather and sword to see the list of blogs and perhaps add your blog’s name and join us in the fun. If you are, like me, a person who needs deadlines and feedback, this really helps.

Gretje’s family and Schulmeister Weissmann arrive in Prague after a long trip from Schwabstedt that has frayed many nerves.
------------------------------------------ 2.22.2015
German Rennsce
Lucas Cranach the Elder, Portrait of a Young Woman, 1530. flickr by HEN-Magonza

Unable to sleep, Gretje wandered about what she still thought of as a house, even though it was three stories tall, filled with strangers and was called an Inn. She was surprised to see a young man at the front desk rather than the older man who had been there when they arrived in late afternoon.

The young man raised his head and smiled as Gretje walked down the curving stairs and up to the desk.

“I am Nandor Bajcs, how can I be of service, Fraulein?”

Kovács Portrait of Sándor Petőfi
Mihály Kovács [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

She..looked down into the deepest brown pools she had ever encountered in a person’s eyes. Hounds and cows had such brown eyes,  but most of her kinsmen and neighbors had blue eyes, with a scattering of green, bluish green with spots of brown, and rarely hazel eyes.

Then he blinked and she saw the thick eyelashes, so long that they curled back onto his eyelids, her breath came short and she couldn’t trust herself not to look too long at the curly black hair that covered his head and arms and curled tantalizingly out over the top button of his shirt.

“Might I bother you for some warm milk, Herr Bajcs?


About jeanlatzgriffin

Jean Latz Griffin is the owner of CyberINK, a small business that produces quirky skeleton-themed products. She has finished the first draft of a historical fantasy and received comments from her agent. She has turned to Orson Scott Card for tips on the second draft. She is author of "In the Same Breath," and "One Spirit: A Creation Story for the 21st Century." She has a certificate in creative writing from the University of Chicago's Writers Studio. Griffin is a member of the growing community of former Chicago Tribune reporters, enjoys Weekend Writing Warriors and the Story Studio in Chicago. Her Sheltie, Thunder, likes to "type" on her computer keys, and Dr Wu, a Weimaraner, likes to lick her ear when she is trying to think. Her husband passed in June of 2011. Her three fabulous grown sons live nearby. She plays violin in an amateur string orchestra.

10 Responses

  1. I really enjoy you descriptions and the undertones of melancholy in this snippet. However, the first sentence feels a bit awkward and I had to read it a couple of times. Just my 2 cents, otherwise you’ve created a fantastic collections of sentences this week!

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